4.30.2014

Feeling Disheartened...


I have been feeling as if my generosity has been going unnoticed.  Not just going unnoticed, but I feel as if I'm held to expectations that I can no longer mentally and physically do.  I am slowly getting burnt out.  I have had a few melt downs and am so very tired lately.  I'm struggling with finances and gaining that steady clientele that every "work for yourself" person needs to survive.  I'm struggling with being a mom and practicing patience with my 6 year old who's only purpose in life, it seems, is to disobey, annoy, and disrespect me.  I am being pulled so many different ways and am giving so much of myself, that I have forgotten to take care of myself.  I was feeling so "woe is me, pity party" that when I got a massage today, I broke down sobbing.  My therapist began to massage my feet at the end of my 90 minute session and it hit something that released 10 tons of emotion onto my face pillow and into the kleenex that I quickly asked for.  She told me to keep crying and not shut it off.  If I felt the urge to cry, cry.  If I needed to cry on the drive home, cry on the drive home.  She said I probably had a lot of stress, tension and emotion harnessed in my feet and crying would release all of it and get the additional toxins out.  When I got home, I was thinking about everything, and I happened to read this passage by Mother Teresa.  It couldn't have come on a better day.  I needed to read this.  I needed to be reminded that God said, "What you do for the least of these, you do unto me."  I'm crying as I type this....

"For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."
 
~Mother Teresa

1 comment:

Mamarazzi said...

Mama, we do that. We give until our cups are empty. I found out the hard way, I must put my oxygen mask on first before I can help others. Fill my cup on the regular. Thanks for letting us shop with you Monday. Love you!